women be shopping

always look in my 'notes app' for dumb things to write for a description on an outfit .. and today i look there and find 'the ability to distinguish up and down comes with the inherent truth that nothing that goes up can stay up' .. .wow so deep and real im litteraly crying omgg 😭😭-- i feel like writing has made like 50% of my daydreaming thoughts a performance, not to some audience but to some perception of my self through the perception of others, which i am just assumptively perceiving to look at me -- like that one meme "they dont know im a clothing creator" -- what am i doing!??! why do i care when i really do not!  i really tried turning a bladee lyric into something to write about and on some level thought it was cool and/or good. i cant believe i can switch my mood in such a way to totally twist what i find meaningfull multiple times a day -- and of course now i 'see it clearly' like how can i know what the real me thinks when i am not the same person i was one outfit ago? ar